Lil Cease said,
don't be fooled by babyface.
So don't be fooled by the nice guy,
the calm voice,
the steady gaze,
the smile that survives hard days.
I carried thunder behind my ribs,
lightning stitched beneath my skin.
You only saw the polished version,
never the war I kept within.
I'd blow smoke in your left eye,
lean close to your right ear,
and ask the question that still echoes:
Why'd you disappear?
You thought the grass was greener,
so you ran toward another view.
Changed your hair,
changed your address,
changed everything but truth.
I watched from the distance,
trying to understand,
how someone can drop a heart
they once held in their hands.
I searched for answers in the basement,
where old ghosts go to hide.
Made rules for my suffering,
gave my sorrow a place to reside.
But not every ship arrives in peace.
Not every light's a guide.
Some things enter like salvation
with destruction tucked inside.
For a while,
I thought the enemy was you.
Then I thought
the enemy was me.
But the enemy was hope
that refused to leave.
So I swam against the melodies,
through molecules of memory,
through echoes of what could've been,
through dreams that wouldn't set me free.
I dreamed of freedom.
Dreamed of love.
Dreamed of kindness that remained.
Dreamed of arms that wouldn't leave
when life became a storm of pain.
But dreams are birds.
Some stay.
Some go.
Some were never mine to hold.
And grief is just another name
for a story growing old.
So keep the greener grass.
Keep the changes.
Keep the life you chose.
I'll keep the lessons,
lose the longing,
and release the wilting rose.
No smoke.
No anger.
No need to understand.
Just a final wave
to a fading silhouette
slipping from my hand.
I loved.
I lost.
I survived.
And now,
at last,
I let go.