When I look back, I wasn't happy at all.
Raising someone else's children, carrying weight that wasn't mine, while grieving the short lives of dreams I never got to live.
Trying to build something solid with someone addicted to parties, distractions, and temporary highs.
Today, I don't desire the women from my past.
Honestly, I question why I was interested in the first place.
If the opportunity came to reconnect, I would pass without hesitation.
Not because I think I'm better.
Not because I'm holding grudges.
Not because of the trauma or the stories that followed.
I would pass because I simply have no interest.
No commitment.
No romance.
No sex.
No conversations that lead nowhere.
I had a type once, but I didn't know it.
Now I do.
Looks don't impress me anymore.
Drama isn't exciting.
Chaos isn't passion.
I want peace.
I want honesty.
I want loyalty.
The further I stay from dysfunction, the closer I get to myself.
I see pictures of my exes now, and the attraction is gone.
They're still beautiful, but character matters more.
And once you've seen enough, you can't unsee it.
Once you've lived through enough, you can't erase it.
What happened, happened.
The lesson remains.
Loyalty means everything to me now.
Honesty means everything to me now.
Those aren't bonuses anymore— they're the foundation.
And without them, there is nothing worth returning to.
I'm sure the feeling is mutual, and that's perfectly fine with me.
- VillyMarlou